Saturday, March 24, 2007

No Escape for You, Silly Woman!

I cruised all winter long untouched by illness and thought I might escape this year without my annual cold. Ha! I should have known better. Lately, I've been working most days and some on most evenings as well. Whenever that happens, I get lax about how much sleep I get, and my diet gets a little worse, and then the viruses come knocking at my door.

It's not too bad though. I'm still up and about, interspersed by frequent naps to help recuperate faster. I've been taking this Emergen-C® stuff, which really seems to help give me a boost. It's kind of like fizzy raspberry Kool Aid® mixed with a touch of Alka Seltzer®; not bad, really.

I haven't worked out in a week, though, and I'm really sad about that. I was doing so good, too. Next time I go to the gym will be like starting over.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

An Ellipse is Not Three Periods

If I had a dollar for the number of times I've deleted the three periods someone used in a document and replaced it with an ellipse, I'd have at least $50. Considering that I edit documents for a living (among other things), I have probably already pocketed and spent it. Sorry.

Software and, indeed, the Windows and Macintosh operating systems themselves provide a specific ellipse character. What's the difference? Size and spacing; for us typography tweaks, this is simply the correct character to use.

In fact, the Autocorrect feature in Microsoft Word will automatically replace three periods with an ellipse. However, if you have this feature (and occasional annoyance) turned off, you'll have to insert the character manually. No big deal; just go to Insert–>Symbol. Click the Special Characters tab and you'll see the ellipse among the choices.

Otherwise, use an ellipse on the Mac platform by pressing the Option and then semicolon key. In Windows, hold down the Alt key and on your numeric keypad type 0151. (Make sure your NumLock key is actually on.)

Someday, I'll write about the often-ignored em dash and its younger sibling, the en dash. (There's one in this article, so don't go telling me that no one uses these!) If you can't wait that long, check out Joseph Pearson's Dire Straits-inspired article on his blog.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Uniquely Female Email Annoyances


Let me be clear up front. Most of the women I know are do not indulge in some of the cutesy annoyances I'm about to describe.

In addition, this is based on my personal email experience over the past decade. However, I'm sure somewhere out there, there's a guy that loves sending these kinds of emails. Hopefully, he hasn't gotten beaten up this week.

Furthermore, I do not detest all the cutesy stuff that comes to my Inbox. I admit I'm a sucker for cute pets. However, send me some Thomas Kinkade ("Painter of Light", TM) thing in a Powerpoint presentation, and I may have to call you so you can share in the experience of my nausea.

I never receive these things from men:

  • Flowery email backgrounds
  • Animated smileys and other characters to decorate emails with
  • Special Powerpoint presentations full of warm, fuzzy pictures
  • Emails that basically say, "I think of you as a friend, so I'm sending you this chain letter. If you think of me as a friend, please send this email that I just sent you back to me, as well as your other 50 friends."

Friends don't send friends chain emails, or things where if you don't forward them on, you'll be cursed by a life of bad hair days.

I have nothing against ladies who like cute things. I like cute things too, but my main beef is that these get in the way of what email is for: communication. This extraneous stuff also ends up wasting my time, either because I'm trying to change your email to plain text or am just dazzled by all the flashy things blinking at me.

Give me a white background with some black, blue, dark grey or even purple text on it. Make sure it's dark enough for me to read, so no teal, light blue or pink. Save your pretty cloud background; I'll strip it off before I reply anyway. Besides that, email backgrounds show up as attachments, which make me suspicious of your email before I even open it.

Particularly clever quotes are appreciated, and so are sig lines with your phone number so I can call you if I need to.

Have a tasteful or clever HTML ad or e-card? Great, but only if you're a good friend or business associate.

Now, if you're my friend, and you've sent me any of the stuff I've listed above, don't worry. I still love you. Later today, I'll send you a chain mail to prove it.

Now I have to go. Someone just sent me a link to a video of a cat playing a piano. (I TOLD you I was a sucker for cute pet stuff...) Sigh.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

If it looks like Yoda wrote it, it's probably malware

Today, a good client and friend of mine asked me a question about an e-mail she received:

Mail server report.

Our firewall determined the e-mails containing worm copies are being sent from your computer.

Nowadays it happens from many computers, because this is a new virus type (Network Worms).

Using the new bug in the Windows, these viruses infect the computer
unnoticeably. After the penetrating into the computer the virus harvests all the e-mail addresses and sends the copies of itself to these e-mail addresses

Please install updates for worm elimination and your computer restoring.

Best regards,

*****
While I didn't receive the attachment with her forward, I'm sure there was one.

This has let me to develop a new rule of thumb for clients in determining whether email is legit or not:

If it looks like Yoda wrote it, it's not legit.

For example:

"Please install updates for worm elimination and your computer restoring."

*****
Backwards this is. Participle and gerund confused they are!

Anyway, if you receive an e-mail that looks like it *might* be a legitimate virus warning, look carefully for how it is written.

And I hope you don't have any gramatically-challenged friends that write you regularly, or my new rule won't work so well for you. ;)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I help moderate a newsgroup as time allows. I have decided that the likelihood of a new member working out is in DIRECT PROPRSHUN AS 2 WETHER THEY TIPE IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME. AND IF DAY CAN'T SPULL OR USE PRPER PUNSHUATION AND GRAMMER, THE'RE EVEN MORE LIKELEE TO BE A PROBLEM.

It's just a theory right now, but perhaps I should start a scientific study. It could be titled:

The Effects of Proper English on Successful Human Socialization.

Engineers and programmers would be exempt from the study.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Disposable Domain Names


A client recently mentioned that I "have more e-mail addresses than a porn spammer." This comment amused me, but I didn't think much more about it until today.

Today, I checked with my registar to find that one of the domain names I use is about to expire. This is the one that I tend to use for newsletter subscriptions, advertisments that I actually (or used to) want to receive and the like.

When you own a domain name and you don't have to share the use of it with others, you can do very cool things with it. (Credit goes to my husband, Chuck, for teaching me this trick.) For example, if I subscribed to Target's weekly advertisement, I can sign up as target@mydomainname.com. If Target chooses to sell my domain name or give it to one of their partners (which I'd never agree to during sign up), when I start getting that unexpected e-mail I can look and see exactly which vendor did me the dirty. Then, I can either e-mail Big Red and try and get things straightened out (unlikely) or simply block that e-mail address(easy).

After I discovered that the domain was about to expire, I did a search in my Inbox to see which services were sending to that address. Lo and behold, many of these were subscriptions that I'm just no longer interested in. I figure I'll probably stop receiving about 10 to 15 e-mails a week after this domain expires.

It also struck me that I am lazy about these types of e-mails. I could have unsubscribed at any time, but receiving them just didn't bother me enough to do it. Plus, I think in the back of my head I was probably considering that someday I might be interested in the mailing again. However, when forced with the choice between resubscribing with a new e-mail address, or just letting them go, I opted to let most of them go.

Which ones made the cut? These were the ones I deemed worthy of resubscribing to:
CNN Alerts
KPRC Channel 2 Severe Weather Alerts(local for Houston, TX)
Food Network's Weekly Newsletter
Ebay
The Feedroom (news videos)
Idea Book (graphic design newsletter)
Dynamic Graphics/Liquid Library (stock images site... subscribe to the Liquid Library Newsletter if you can... very cool)

Also, as long as I'm committed to dropping a domain name annually, I make it that much harder for the spammers to find me. I try not subscribe to anything or post anything public with my work e-mail account. That is where the disposable address comes in handy.

If you'd like some help figuring out and registering a disposable domain name for your own needs, let me know. It's a quick process. A new domain name with the registrar we use is $15, and I can handle the registration and configuration for you for another $27.50. Just let me know.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

How Much Money Do You Have to Lose?


Timing isn’t exactly everything, but it can make or break a communications effort. I find it absolutely jaw-dropping how many major proposal or marketing efforts are hamstrung by poor planning and insufficient allocation of time.

Time is a resource and can be used to a company’s advantage or disadvantage. Unlike people or materials, once time is gone, you can’t get some more to replace it with. People (especially salespeople and managers) seem to have a hard time with that idea. A case in point:

I walked into my office one morning to be greeting with the news that a proposal had to be shoved out the door in two days. This was not a small, insignificant proposal, but one that could have netted several thousand dollars for the company. My first question was “Why am I just now hearing about this?” The answer was that the “higher ups” had not been able to make a decision as to whether to pursue the opportunity until very late in the game.

The result put me and my team in a position where there was absolutely no way we could put forth our best effort and deliver the higher-quality product that we were capable of. As I watched the ticking of the clock, the squandering of labor hours and the production of mediocre work (from people who were capable of oh-so-much-more), I wondered, “How much money do we have to lose?” My guess is that we spent $5000 on that effort, and it was an effort that had very little chance of succeeding.

Someone higher on the food chain must have decided that it was okay to gamble with the company’s money. I’m not a gambler and it seems foolish to me to ignore the risk factors and lack of planning. People who have a chronic problem with planning should look at their company’s advertising budgets and calculate how much of that money they can feel like they can safety flush down the toilet before they get fired. I promise that dollar amount is very small. People who can’t land winning proposals or market in a such a way that increases revenue don’t stay in their jobs long.

While computing has made the production of printed documents much easier than it used to be, it is human logic, thought, creativity and contribution that does a document make. We will never be at the point where you “push a button” and an interesting, successful document pops out. Well, that is, until the androids are developed that will do our thinking and working for us, but we’re still working on that.

People not involved in the document production effort do not understand the amount of time and effort needed to produce not just quality results, but work that will stand heads and shoulders above your competitors. If you’d like to be invited to the party later, you’d better look like someone interesting to talk to.

The responsibility to educate these decision makers rests with the proposal or document manager and his or her team. The effort to educate should be sincere, not condescending, with a focus on helping the company meet its goals.

When the effort to educate is graciously received and really listened to, a closer interaction between production, sales and management can be developed. Proposal or document managers and key team members should be brought into meetings regarding whether or not to pursue a particular piece of business as soon as there is at least a 40% chance that the company will go for it.

Then, the question can be "How much money can we win?" and that's a much more positive goal to work for.

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